CHESTERFIELD'S NIGHTCLUBS

RED CLUBS are now closed.
GREEN CLUBS have undergone a change of name but are still open.
BLUE CLUBS are open.

ADAM & EVE; Lordsmill Street, Chesterfield.
One of the town’s old favourites. I lasted twenty minutes in it once, before deciding that enough was enough. Even in its heyday the carpet had the lush consistency of Louisiana swamp, with all the ale (and God knows what else) that was tipped on it and, being a place for late-night drinking when everything else in the town officially closed at 10.30 or 11, fights were frequent. Wheato’s burgers from the scram van outside were a major source of nourishment at a time when there were few fast-food outlets in the town centre.

The name was often punned into the “Grab ‘em and Heave” or the “Have ‘em and Grieve,” but the club itself stunned even the most lightening wit by changing its name to the hilarious “Pussy Galore.” As its customer base went in search of other places and the club itself became indescribably tawdry; it underwent further name-changes in a succession of desperate re-launches as “Pod” and “X-Cell.” It remained closed and rotting quietly for an age before the Thai restaurant underneath took some or all of it over for expansion.


Some place by the nick, the name of which escapes me:
Formed from the remains of the bingo hall on Beetwell Street. Leave a comment if you can enlighten me.

AQUARIUS, Sheffield Road, Newbold Moor.
Once the most significant club in the area, putting on top-ish names from the nightclub circuit on its cabaret side, while the bar side was usually heaving on “Grab a Granny” night, on Thursdays, and all over the weekend. Changes in taste (and its failure to adapt to those) led to its closure and re-launch as Tiger Joes, in the first place, then (as if in competition with the atrocious Pussy Galore) Fanny’s. After this last one died a death it remained closed for some time, before being turned into a health studio and gym.

BEACH BAR, The; Stephenson Place, Chesterfield.
Incorporated “Time,” which is really just a different bar in the same place. Its first nightclub apparition was as the Montmartre.

CARLTON CLUB, King Street, Whittington Moor.
One for the old folk – a place like the cabaret club’s you’d see in black & while films, it was finished off by the invention of Rock ‘n’ Roll. If I’m not mistaken, a local chap named Joe Devine was a compere.

FUSION; Holywell Street, Chesterfield
“Jingles” re-branded, and a great place to see bands in the 70s. The Cure for 60p, anyone? Became incredibly tatty before its eventual closure, along with the Odeon cinema, around 1980. The whole thing was re-opened as the Winding Wheel centre, with the old dance floor being restored to its ballroom elegance, and the smaller bar becoming a function room.

JINGLES; Holywell Street, Chesterfield.
The converted Odeon Ballroom. Became “Fusion.”

LAVA & IGNITE; Knifesmithgate, Chesterfield.
The newly-reopened Xanadu. Following the recent trend to try to con youngsters into thinking they’re getting more for their money, the place is ostensibly split into two bars, each with a separate identity although, after a few shots of fluorescent turps. I don’t suppose you’d find one punter who could say with any certainty which bar he was in. Or which city, come to that. A woman named Abby Titmuss, who is no relation to the great spin bowler Fred, but is apparently some sort of celebrity, made a personal appearance shortly after it opened but was forced from the stage by hundreds of pissed blokes screaming “Get your tits out for the lads!” You can change our clubs’ names, but not their spirit!!

October 2005 update: passing the place the other day I noticed a more friendly-looking entrance had been crafted from a disused shop and the alleyway up the side had been cleaned up and the floor of it painted white, so at least you can see where you're going and what you're stepping in. Progress.

Spetember 2007: The thing appears to be boarded up, although there is the promise of it reopening in some sort of improved form.

LIVINGSTONE’S; Holywell Street, Chesterfield.
Converted from an old Methodist chapel, which was itself converted into the town’s YMCA. One hopes that someone is witty enough to give the Village People a regular thrashing on its turntables. Part of the planning permission deal was for various road improvements – widening pavements, and so on – so that drunk punters didn’t wander out of the club and into the busiest part of the town centre, so some good may come of it – especially if it encourages the east end of town to smarten itself up and pull trade from Corporation Street.

MONTMARTRE, The; Stephenson Place, Chesterfield.
Now the Beach Bar and Time clubs.

MOULIN ROUGE; Knifesmithgate, Chesterfield.
Formerly the Victoria Ballroom, in the Victoria Cinema. The cinema was converted into shops and the ballroom into this club. Many a lad went there hoping to cop off with one of the local women, affectionately known as “Moolie Tarts.” It closed but was soon relaunched as Xanadu.

RENDEZVOUS, Sheffield Road, Stonegravels.
Originally a malthouse, becoming a dance hall around 1920. The famous 1930s crooner Al Bowlly apparently performed here. After such places became less popular it staged boxing and wrestling before bowing to the inevitable influence of telly, and closing. It became a bedding warehouse and was demolished around 1990. The Rutland old people’s home now stands on the site.

XANADU; Knifesmithgate, Chesterfield.
The Moulin Rouge restored to life (but not as we know it, Jim.) A once-popular town centre club that quickly died a death when the competition widened with the opening of Zanzibar. I expect that people just got fed up of queuing in a dark alleyway that stank of piss… It closed, but has regenerated itself as Lava / Thermals, or some such daft name.. First things first, chaps—wash out the alleyway.

ZANZIBAR; Cavendish Street, Chesterfield.
Created from the ABC cinema and incorporating the Regal Café & Bars and Spires Bar. It has slipped down the pecking order since the relaunch of Lava/Ignite and the opening of Livingstones, and was looking a tad rough around the edges when a number of mysterious and wholly innocent fires in doorways precluded its closing. It was relaunched as "Escapades," presumably because after five minutes in there, you're looking for escape aids. Escape aids - Escapades - Geddit?

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